God’s Business, My Business, & Other People’s Business

Good Morning Friends,

Happy Thursday!! What’s on your gratitude list today?

Over the past week there has been a theme showing up among many of my clients.  Often, the people we love and care deeply about, even have stewardship over, are going through really trying times.  It breaks our heart to watch the struggle, suffering, trauma and pain. We want with all our heart to fix it for them and spare them the hurt. Oh how tempting it is to swoop in and play “savior”, or try to manipulate things because we think we know what’s best for them.  How easy it is to fall into the blame game, or the “coulda/woulda/shoulda” mentality.  But- the fact is, it is not our business.  The decisions of others are not ours to control.  The thoughts, feelings and actions of others, including those closest to us, are 100% up to them.

This desire, to fix things, shows up on a global level as well.  What is happening in the Ukraine is absolutely horrendous.  The violence and terror these people are facing is unconscionable.  It truly tears our hearts open as we witness the awful bloodshed and senseless ripping apart of families. We wish we could teach someone a lesson or somehow make things right. 

I’m grateful this week for the prayer, “Do I have a part to play?”, and “Is this mine to do?” I am thankful to understand that there truly are powerful things we can do, from our own lane, that can make a difference in the lives of others on a personal and global level.

What a gift personal revelation is, and following our intuition is in answer to these questions.  From our own lane we can serve, support, offer, give and show up for others.  Sometimes service, where we take some things off the plate of others, is a beautiful way to show love and bolster spirits.  Other times we can hold space for others, allowing them to experience “all the feels”,  from a non-judgemental, compasisionate place. Holding space is a beautiful way to show them support without trying to control. In other instances we can offer new ways to see things or another perspective.  We can offer wisdom learned from our own experiences or suggestions on how to process something.  Perhaps the most powerful way we can help those we love who are going through trials, is giving them the gift of our belief in them and faith in their ability to overcome and rise above the current problems.  We can also give our prayers on their behalf and our unconditional love despite their current thoughts, feelings and actions. I’m so thankful for these ways we can show up in the lives of others while staying in our own business.  The trick is to remember, the thoughts, feelings and actions of others are their choice, AND “Do I have a part to play?”.  

We are asked to “Mourn with those that mourn”, and “to comfort those in need of comfort.”  We are often petitioned to be God’s hands on Earth. However, our job is never to save, that’s Christ’s role.  When we see a need and ask, “Is this mine to do?”; or when we notice someone is struggling and ask “Do I have a part to play?”, as we listen closely to the answers I am grateful that we will absolutely know what to do from a serving, supporting, offering, and/or giving place.  Watch out for the tendency to think we know best and therefore are justified in manipulating or controlling thoughts, feelings or actions of others. The fact is we don’t know what is best.  It is possible the very mess your loved one is struggling through will become their message.  Perhaps this curriculum of life they are in the middle of is refining them into more than we ever could have imagined for them.  The question is, “Do I have a part to play?”.  

I’m so thankful to understand God’s business, my business and other people’s business.  If you’d like help navigating this, reach out.

Gratefully yours,

Candice Noss

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