Perfection or Connection

Dear Friends,

On this cold, crisp Thursday, I am thankful for a concept I’m exploring…

Perfection or Connection

As you know, I started a podcast in October (Designed for Greatness with Candice Noss) and have done 6 episodes to date.  I’ve dreamed of getting to a place in my business where this could be a reality. I am so grateful I am doing it!!  I have put my entire heart and soul into each episode I’ve created.  I meticulously researched, wrote, re-wrote, edited and revised each one until it was scripted to the best of my ability in hopes of helping others by spreading light and truth.  I dedicated immense time and energy to the process.  I told myself I would do this for 3 months and then re-evaluate.  Now it’s January and I know it is totally unrealistic to continue doing my podcast this way.  

There is a saying, “New level, new devil”.  Every time we up-level, or put ourselves out in the world in a new way, the old insecurities we’ve dealt with in the past have a tendency to creep up on us in new ways.  My entire life, perfectionism has plagued me.  The all or nothing, rigid mentality drove me to succeed at all costs.  It created intense pressure.  It took me down lonely paths of insecurity, never being enough and self-rejection.  One of the reasons life coaching and cognitive behavioral therapy resonated so powerfully with me is because I finally was able to see and understand my lower brain.   For the first time in my life, this new comprehension allowed me to have compassion for myself.  I was able to release the perfectionism and truly connect with who I really am- my divine greatness.

I realized over the past 2 weeks that perfectionism has snuck up on me again.  This time, it’s raising it’s ugly head with my podcast.  I absolutely refuse to go down that lonely and treacherous road of perfectionism again! The truth is, I am not perfect and that is totally ok.  🙂

I am grateful for some neat insights I’ve realized by examining my perfectionist thoughts, feelings and actions.  When I am able to step back and curiously, without judgement, see what’s going on with perfectionism, it seems perfection is the opposite of connection.  I’ve noticed that when I fall into perfectionism, I isolate myself from God and from others.  This isn’t on purpose, but there is a sense of urgency to do something exactly right and the pressure that it’s all on me to figure it out.  I become rigid and extreme in my thinking, and the vibe I put off repels others.  

Connection comes from being vulnerable with one another and embracing our imperfections with a “Me too” attitude that pops every shame bubble.  Connection is built on helping one another through the messiness of being human.  Connection realizes I can’t do it on my own and I am not supposed to be able to.  Connection knows that I need God and others to help me— every single step of the way. 

So… this thankful Thursday is not perfect.  I am still exploring this concept and striving to find ways to decondition the perfectionist thinking I so easily fall prey to.  Focusing on connection is giving me a lot of traction.  As I strive for connection with God, my family, friends and clients, I can let go of having to be perfect and know they will love me anyway.

My challenge for you this week is to notice if you are beating yourself up, anywhere in your life, for not being perfect.  Is there a way you could attack the issue from connection instead of perfection?  Let me know your thoughts!!

Thank you for being my people, and accepting me… flaws and all.

I love you, my friends!

Genuinely yours,

Candice Noss

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