Relationships: 3 D’s & 3 E’s

Good morning friends!

It’s “Thankful Thursday”—> the best day of the week!!  Are you getting in the habit of living into your own “Thankful Thursday”?  Are you focusing on your one word intention for the year every single day? Just a couple of reminders to help you solidly incorporate these 2 powerful life hacks- Gratitude and Intention. 😉

Relationship woes have been a theme in my coaching this past week. I’m thankful for the knowledge of the 3 D’s that destroy relationships and the 3 E’s that build relationships.  I learned about the 3 D’s and 3 E’s from Dr. Justin Coulson.  I am grateful for this powerful framework to operate from when it comes to relationships.  It has proven to be super effective in all relationships whether they are with God, ourselves, or others.

3 D’s that Destroy Relationships:

  • Being Disappinted
  • Being Dismissive
  • Being Disapproving

3 E’s that Build Relationships:

  • Examining
  • Evaluating
  • Empowering

If you have a relationship you are working on (including your relationship with yourself!!), the first step is awareness.  Ask yourself, “Am I being dismissive of ______ feelings or actions? Am I disappointed in ____? Do I disapprove of _________?”  Remember to recognize and point out the difference between the person and their actions.  If you find that you’ve been using the 3 D’s, accept that, then make a new plan —> use the 3 E’s. 🙂

The next time an issue comes up, start by “EXAMINING”.  Ask lots of questions to get a bigger picture of what happened.  This is the opposite of being dismissive and shows you really care about all the pieces of the story.

Then, step into “EVALUATING”.  Ask more questions to help determine if the outcome was in alignment with what they really wanted.  Avoid a condescending tone or anything that would come across as you being disappointed or disapproving.  Compassionately understand and step into their shoes by helping analyze what happened.

Finally, work into “EMPOWERING”.   See this person as their truest, highest self.  Empower them to step into their strengths and abilities. Remind them who they really are.  Trust them.

I’m so thankful for relationships and the chance we have to work on the tricky ones.  This framework is a powerful tool in my life that I truly am grateful for. We are all “works in progress” in need of grace and forgiveness.  Deep down everyone just wants to be seen, accepted and loved.  We have to do this not only for others, but for ourselves too.  Building our relationship with self is one of the most important things we can do.  I hope this tool will assist you in doing just that.

If you need extra help with a relationship, whether it be with God, yourself or others, reach out!!

Rooting for you always,

Candice Noss

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