Stand Firm

Good Morning Friends,

I am thankful this Thursday for a quote I came across from Austin Farrer which empowers standing firm:

“Though argument does not create conviction, lack of it destroys belief.  What seems to be proved may not be embraced, but what no one shows that ability to defend is quickly abandoned. Rational argument does not create belief, but it maintains a climate in which belief may flourish.”

In the desire to avoid contention, often we resort to disengaging completely.  In an attempt to not “rock the boat”, it is common to not even argue something we feel deep convictions about.  While it is important to avoid contention, it is equally important to stand firm and solid in our beliefs.  It is vital that others know what we stand for and who we truly are, even if they disagree.  

“Conflict is inevitable. Contention is a choice.” (Dieter Uchtdorf) We can disagree without being disagreeable.  We can have compassionate conversations and stay in a place of love whether or not we shift a perspective or change a mind.  However, refusing to engage in a conversation in order to keep the peace implies we are not really that solid in our conviction. Even if we know it is a futile argument, by making the argument from a curious, meek place we “maintain a climate in which belief may flourish.”

In parenting teenagers and adult children, the advice to “pick your battles” is often given.  I am grateful to recognize that even if we are not going to “battle” about something, beliefs can still be shared without contention.  When we stay in a place of “connect” and refuse to drop into “protect mode”, even if our point of view is not embraced, we can still share it and plant seeds for possible future consideration. 

The way others think, feel and act is their business.  However, we can offer, invite, suggest, share experiences, and engage in discussions.  If we fail to stand for our convictions than even the possible consideration of our alternative opinion “is quickly abandoned”. At least in the offering of a different point of view, the door remains open for possible future contemplation.

I’m grateful for the added validation this quote provides to “own my truth” and speak up when impressed.  Despite the outcome, “maintain(ing) a climate in which belief may flourish” is of paramount importance. The skill to present an opposing argument without dropping into contention or defensiveness is definitely one I am striving to learn and master.  I’m thankful for how this quote highlights the importance of developing this ability.

What are you thankful for this week? What are you learning?

Rooting for you always,

PS

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Candice Noss

Speaker, Wellness Coach, Physical Therapist

The Mind, Body, Spirit Trifecta

www.candicenoss.com