The principle of “wearing your retainer”- Taking truth from your head, to your heart, to your bones

Good Morning Friends,

It is Thursday! 🙂  Has the fact that it is Thursday begun to trigger you to contemplate what you are thankful for? I hope so! If not, I challenge you to start using the simple actuality that the day of the week is Thursday, to remind you to reflect in gratitude on your past week.

This week, I am thankful for understanding a reality that knowledge must go from our heads, to our hearts, to our bones in order to create permanent change.  It is not enough to just know something is true.  It can’t just stay in our head.  We must act on that knowledge, and do things differently because of the new truths we’ve learned.  We must practice the new thought pattern over and over and over again.  We must be vigilant about watching out for the old, erroneous thought patterns, and continue to intentionally act on the expanded knowledge we’ve gained.  

After consistently and intentionally remembering the new knowledge and acting on it, over time the truth will eventually go from our heads to our hearts. Now we have a testimony of it or a witness that it is true and good. Once it is in our hearts, we love how the new thought patterns and subsequent feelings and actions create joy, elevating us. We experience transformation. 

BUT friends, it can’t end here.  The new thought patterns must still take root even deeper, so that when the raging storms of life come, we are unshakable in this new thought pattern.  Only after careful attention to our head hygiene where we intentionally think, feel and act differently because of the truths we now have a witness of, does the knowledge finally go from our heart, deep into our bones.  

Once in our bones, the knowledge becomes truly who we are at our core.  This process takes a lifetime of mindful thought analysis and attention to our feelings. I’m not convinced we ever reach the point in this life where we can take a hiatus from thinking about what we are thinking about and intentionally bossing our brain. The reward for our efforts, however, is truly worth the work to stay vigilant and intentional.  Permanent and genuine transformations, truly thriving, and living an elevated life are just some of the blessings that come from working to get truth into our bones.

Often we think that comprehension of a principle or law is the finish line.  We know it and bam, we are good.  I listened to a talk David Bednar gave where he spoke of many people knowing something is true, having a testimony and bearing their witness of a truth, yet not being fully converted to this truth.  The knowledge was planted in their head, and for a time they acted differently and in alignment with this truth.  The knowledge went from their head to their heart.  Yet, when life got hard, or they became careless in taking intentional action based on this truth, they revert to old thinking and lower brain sabotage.  The knowledge never went from their heart to their bones.

I see this all the time with my clients. I will work with someone and they will make huge transformations, resulting in a truly elevated life.  Success ripples into all facets of their life as they truly live with a mind firmly aligned, a body purposefully loved and a spirit powerfully accessed.  They believe they’ve made it.  They know powerful truths and have applied them, reaping the beautiful results.  The knowledge has gone from their head to their heart.  At this point it is super easy to get a little lackadaisical with watching thoughts.  Everything is going well.  As the 50/50 of life ensues, little by little, the new habits, which are just seedlings are at risk of falling by the wayside.  These new habits must be nurtured and intentionally followed through on in order to really take root enough to withstand the winds and the rains incumbent with life.  If we aren’t super vigilant about consistent head hygiene, attention to non-negotiables, and persistently acting on the knowledge we know to be true, the transformations will be lost and we will revert to our old ways.

I like to refer to this as “the principle of wearing your retainer”.  Did you have to wear braces? I had years and years of braces growing up.  I had a really old orthodontist and he used the braces that went around the whole entire tooth on every tooth in my mouth.  I was truly a “brace face”.  Not only was my mouth full of metal and wires, but I had to wear headgear every single night throughout middle school and high school.  My teeth were a mess, but after many painful years, I was lucky enough to achieve the result of straight teeth!!  Hallelujah!!! It was a beautiful transformation and I loved my smile!!  I was given a permanent retainer to wear on my bottom teeth and a regular retainer to wear at nights for my top teeth.  I did wear my retainer until I lost it- whoops! By that time I was in college and unable/unwilling to pay out of pocket for a new retainer. The permanent retainer was still on my bottom teeth, and I hoped that would be enough.  Well, after having my first baby, I was at the dentist for a routine checkup and this dentist told me that once you’ve had babies, your teeth are set and won’t move. He convinced me to take out the permanent retainer because it posed a higher risk for cavities. I figured he knew what he was talking about and let him remove the permanent retainer.  Well…10 years later, my teeth were reverting back to their original out of alignment mess. Pretty soon I had a gap between my front teeth and it was getting bigger all the time.  In my late 30’s I went back to the orthodontist with my own teenagers to realign my teeth again.  UGHLLLL

The lesson— if you want to keep alignment, you must be vigilant about wearing your retainer!! Every day!!  Even now, after 2 rounds of braces, if I miss a night of wearing my retainers, the retainer is tight the next day. Teeth, like brains, want to revert to their default setting.  We are wired for our lower brain to drive.  If we aren’t intentional and vigilant, thinking about our thoughts and rejecting the ones that don’t serve us…every day… then the thoughts of our lower brain will little by little overtake our brain.  Eventually old, default, knee-jerk thoughts will sabotage all our progress landing us out of alignment in our mind, body and spirit.  Even when we feel like we have solid habits and have genuinely transformed, we have to keep “wearing our retainer.” Just like my mouth’s default is out of alignment teeth, our brain’s default is to have negativity bias, extreme survivalism, tribal paranoia and natural man tendencies dominate our thinking.  Even after great transformations, the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) and erroneous thought patterns will rear their ugly heads again. We have to stay vigilant and consciously reject the ANTS, aka “wear our retainer”.  We must intentionally think empowering thoughts on purpose.  Old mentalities such as victim posturing, people pleasing, playing the savior, and perfectionism will creep back into our lives if we leave our thoughts unchecked. Despite all the work of getting the knowledge of truths from our head to our heart, we absolutely MUST stay vigilant and intentional in order to get it from our heart into our bones.

Do you have any insights about getting truths from your head to your heart to your bones? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂


Rooting for you always,

Candice Noss

Physical Therapist, Life Coach

The Mind, Body, Spirit


I created a new freebie to offer people at the events where I speak.  It is a 15 minute meditation focused on stepping into our divine power and purpose. It has been a crowd favorite. Think of me for your next event- I’d love to speak to your group and offer them this meditation too!! Click here.