Ownership of Thoughts

Dear Friends,

Happy Thursday!!  What are you thankful for this week?

I am grateful for a quote I came across from David Bednar:

“It ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or offend me.  Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false.  To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.  In the grand division of all of God’s creations there are things to act and things to be acted upon.  As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity of independent action and choice.  Endowed with agency, you and I are agents and we primarily are to act, not just be acted upon.  To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon.  As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offense or hurtful situation.”

I love this quote because it puts ownership of our feelings back where it belongs, on us. We have 100% control over our feelings because, thanks to free agency, we have the power to choose what we will think. People will act in all sorts of ways, and that is their prerogative. When we take offense from something said or done, we start playing the victim and giving them power over how we feel.  Our knee-jerk reaction might be one of offense or hurt, but we don’t need to respond in this way.  If we can recognize that we are feeling offended, we can tease out the thought creating the feeling and reject it for something that serves us better.

There is another quote I love that says, “Conflict is inevitable, contention is a choice.” (Uchtdorf). Again, this is the same principle.  We get to choose how we will respond to the unavoidable conflicts that will arise, by the thoughts we decide to think.  Thoughts come at us from so many sources.  Our lowerbrain has an open door for satan to push deceptive, discouraging and/or distracting thoughts into our head, but we do not have to continue to think or believe these thoughts.  The way our brain is wired with extreme survivalism and tribal paranoia presents us with a constant stream of thoughts meant to: seek pleasure, avoid pain, conserve energy, make sure everyone likes us, and make sure we are one of the best, all with a negativity bias about how we aren’t good enough.  Again, these thoughts will bombard us, but we are not objects to be acted upon by these thoughts, we are agents to act for ourselves.  We decide what to do with every thought in our head but we have to wake up and be aware of what we are thinking to effectively do this. 

Emotions are not good or bad, they are simply messengers, telling us something is going on in our mind, body and spirit. As we gain the awareness to recognize when we are feeling offended or contention, we take back our power to think on purpose and respond differently, landing in emotions more in alignment with our highest self.

I am thankful for Bednar’s quote that reminds us to take ownership for our feelings by leaning into our power of agency to choose thoughts which serve us.


Rooting for you always,



eaching people how to become the boss of their brain in order to live with a mind firmly aligned is one of my special missions.  Truly waking up to and harnessing the power of our thoughts is life-changing.  If you want this for your life, work with me.  Check out my courses in the drop down menu to choose the option that best suits you.